Which one is effective?
This style is characterized by parents who tend to take on more of a friend role in their children’s lives. These kinds of parents may set rules but barely enforce them, nor do they give out the consequences for their children’s actions. They often feel that their children will develop better if they don’t restrict them.
Children who grow up with parents that are this liberal usually struggle academically because they don’t receive the necessary support (which often includes discipline) in order to strive academically. They are more likely to develop behavioral problems at school because they struggle with adhering to authority and rules.
Parents who fall under this category usually don’t enquire about their children’s schoolwork, activities, let alone their performance. They spend very little to no time with their children and hardly ever know where their children are at a given time. There tend to be very few rules in the household or much of a guiding hand. Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves and don’t contribute much into who their children become. This may not always be intentional as some parents struggle with their mental health, substance abuse or may be of poor health.
Unfortunately, kids who grow up under this parenting style tend to have very low self-esteems. They struggle academically due to the lack of support from their parents. They also really struggle to be happy because it is a very stressful environment for a child to grow up in.
Authoritarian parents are what we would usually be referred to as strict parents. They subscribe to the “children should be seen and not heard” rule which means they hardly consider the feelings and opinions of their children. They are very big on the strict enforcement of rules regardless of the context. They don’t feel the need to talk to their children about their actions, the rationale behind the rule nor the proportion of the consequences.
Growing up under an authoritarian parent results in children not only having very low self-esteem but they may also develop anger issues. This is because children like this are often not allowed to express themselves which means they have difficulty learning how to process their anger, resulting in them lashing out. This also has a detrimental impact on their relationships with their parents because they are more likely to harbor resentment.
These are the kinds of parents that invest quite a lot of time intentionally developing a healthy relationship with their parents. They establish rules and explain the reason for those rules to their children. They focus more on teaching their children the consequences of their actions rather than giving out punishments that make their children fear to make mistakes.
Children brought up under this is parenting style grow up to be happier adults, responsible because they are self-disciplined and highly likely to make better decisions. They are more likely to be successful because they receive adequate support from their parents.
All children are different and no one parenting style has a hundred percent guarantee to enable your child to become who you dream for them to be. You may find that you identify with different characteristics from different parenting styles, that is normal because we cannot fit human beings into boxes. What’s important is learning what is best for you and your child’s relationship and intentionally creating the type of environment where they can thrive.